Thursday, June 09, 2011

Don't Be Gay

"Hope will never be silent."
 - Harvey Milk

Do you remember saying that as a kid? "Don't be gay!!"? It's interesting, thinking about the different meanings of the word "gay" and how those meanings speak to our society today.

Webster's dictionary defines "gay" as the following:

1. (a) Happily excited: MERRY <in a gay mood;
    (b) Keenly alive and exuberant: having or inducing high spirits <a bird's gay song>

2. (a) BRIGHT, LIVELY <gay sunny meadows>
    (b) brilliant in colour

3. given to social pleasures: also LICENTIOUS

4. (a) HOMOSEXUAL <gay men>
    (b) of, relating to, or used by homosexuals <the gay rights movement> <a gay bar>

OK. So let's start out by clarifying that I am not gay. I would define myself as "straight but not narrow". But I am continuously mystified and baffled by how much energy is spent by some people on trying to keep us in the dark ages. Not the "bright and lively" age that should be the present. All human beings are "brilliant in colour', be them straight, gay, bisexual, transgendered, black, white or purple. But not everyone sees this.

Is it not fair to say that all human beings should have the right to be happy, and dare I say, merry? And does it not make sense that in order for all human beings to be given a fair opportunity to be keenly alive and live exuberant lives, that they should all be treated equally and with acceptance and respect?

Some people do bad things. Homosexuals do bad things. Heterosexuals do bad things. Purple people do bad things. But that does not give one-eyed, one-horned, flying purple people eaters the right to make lunch out of them. To trap them. To make them feel any less than anyone else.

OK, so HE was purple...not the people.
But you get my point.

Really...I am not here to preach. I'm a lover not a fighter. But I ask you to really think about this. I ask you to take a look at your deepest feelings on issues such as gay marriage. Maybe you feel as I do - that we have much more important things to worry and focus on than trying to hinder anyone from getting married, adopting children, living the lives they want to live - no matter what their sexual orientation- provided they meet the requirements of any heterosexual person.

People are starving. Children are being raped and sold. They are also being brutally bullied because they are different than some of their peers. Because they are different. "Don't be gay!" And so some of them say "OK, I won't be gay. I won't be me. In fact, I just won't be at all." And then they are gone.

And yet gay rights still is - because it must be - a huge movement. Because there are enough people who don't see that letting people be happy, be merry, be authentic, be who they important.

Why do I write this today? Because is makes me mad. And sad. And because I have wonderful gay friends. And because I am a parent. I want to raise loving, kind and accepting boys and I feel it is our generation's responsibility to to do this for all of our or straight or whatever they happen to best as we possibly can.

Talk to your kids. Let your voice be heard. Because one day soon they will be doing the talking. They will have the voices. And may those voices sing. Sing the beautiful, exuberant songs...just like the birds.

And may those songs be music to everyone's ears.



Suggested Reading

Say a Prayer
An Attitude of Gratitude - How Bad Experiences Bring Your Life Perspective


  1. Hi Lora,

    This was a great read. Makes me think long and hard about having the right attitude and doing the right thing. Excellent job and loved the poem! All good wishes, Carol

  2. Hi Lori

    I agree with you on so many levels. The fact that so many people spend so much time caring about who one loves is very puzzling. There are so many other issues to focus on other then who loves whom. I watched a movie about a boxer (who was gay) and killed another boxer in the ring his quote was very interesting to me " I keep thinking how strange it is ... I kill a man and most people understand and forgive me. However, I love a man, and to so many people this is an unforgivable sin; this makes me an evil person. So, even though I never went to jail, I have been in prison almost all my life." - Neil L.

  3. Well done Lora! We are already having these conversations with our young kids (aged 4,7, and 9) because I truly believe that it's NEVER too early to start teaching the importance of acceptance, love, and equality for all people!! No exceptions! <3

  4. Thanks to all of you for your thoughtful comments. I feel very strongly about this and I continue to keep my door open to anyone who has different views in order to open up a dialogue. As long as their is no mud-slinging.

    That quote is great. What movie is that from?

    Keep the important conversations going! Hugs!

  5. Thanks to all of you for your thoughtful comments. I feel very strongly about this and I continue to keep my door open to anyone who has different views in order to open up a dialogue. As long as their is no mud-slinging.

    That quote is great. What movie is that from?

    Keep the important conversations going! Hugs!

  6. Thank you, Lora, for taking a stand . . . the right stand. My family appreciates your courage.

    Just discovered your blog today and am happy to follow.

  7. Thanks for taking a side - that of all decent people, regardless of who they are attracted to or love :-)

  8. Lora- this is lovely. Thank you sharing.
    Kerry at

  9. What an absolutely beautiful post Lora! You are truly a beautiful talented person.. I fully agree with you... People are people and why cant we live the way we are and still be respected and fully allowed to LIVE, gay or straight!

  10. I just re-read your blog again! It is great to hear rational people voicing what should be common sense.
    Sadly many many people either through their religions or families have been taught to hate. Hate is on innate.
    Keep on writing. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
    Sean T (suspack)

  11. oops typos there. hate is "not"

  12. You and your blog rock!

  13. When I saw the title of this post on Twitter I was thinking I was going to get some conservative, anti-gay crap and was getting ready to post a scathing comment. But to say I was nicely surprised and uplifted is an understatement! Very creative use of a blog post title to get people of varying opinions to take a look. I hope this piece makes a few people re-think their views. A beautiful read and it is nice to know there are positive bloggers - who are parents especially - who share views on topics such as this. Many thanks from me - the parent of a gay son...and a proud one at that! I will continue to explore your blog! Thanks again! Arina

  14. Just saw this on Facebook. Shit Lora. This really says it all. I am a mother of a son who may be gay. I am not sure but it is looking that way. It's liberal as I claim to be...when it is your own child. This post, however, really struck a chord in me. I feel suddenly lifted. I just want to go and hug my son. I just may show him this post and tell him how great I think it is. You may have just changed my family dynamic with this little gem Lora. Amazing grace. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I will read more. Jan

    1. Wow Jan! I just got an e-mail notifying me of this comment and I rushed to my computer. This is by far the most special comment I have EVER received!!! To see that my little piece of writing had such an impact in such a positive way...well...I am weeping to be honest! Please go and hug your son tight! Let him know how special he is. And in doing will also be letting him know how special his mom is. Blessings, love and light to you both. And thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking the time to share this with me. It is such a wonderful motivator and fills my heart and soul with joy. Smiles.....Lora xoxo