"Fear is the tax that conscience pays to guilt."
- George Sewell
I feel guilty that I am writing this blog post right now. Do you feel guilty reading it? Instead of playing with your child or doing the laundry or focusing on your work or taking a much needed nap? But a nap would make you feel guilty too. God forbid you are well rested. How will dinner get made?
Mother guilt is par for the course. You have a baby and all of a sudden you feel like you are always "on the clock" in some way shape or form. Right now I am trying to type this on my phone because turning on my laptop would take too much time because I have to pick up the older boys from the school bus. And they take the bus because they like the bus. And it also give Drew a little longer to nap. And it gives me an extra 40 minutes or so before I have all three kids. I feel guilty about that.
And my baby is actually spending a few hours with my mother in law this afternoon because she wanted to see him. And help me out. And I spent an hour laying in my new hammock, in the sun, relaxing instead of cooking something or cleaning something or calling someone. I feel guilty about that.
|Look how good I look in this cartoon. |
I feel guilty about that.
Hold on. I have to meet the boys at the bus now to make sure I don't get there a few seconds late and they have to take them back to the school. That happened before. I feel guilty about that.
OK, I'm back. If I were working right now I would still be there making money unlike what I am making now. Nothing except for mat leave benefits. I feel guilty about that. I need to call my friends because I have not talked to them in so long. They are moms too, most of them. We really don't see each other enough. We feel guilty about that.
I could call one if them now but my phone plan has free evening calling and it is only 4:21pm and if I call now it may end up costing me money I am not making and I would then not have time to pick up my baby, make dinner and help with the homework. And I would feel guilty about all those things.
This is sounding kind of like my to do list, thus could go on and on in mad circles forever. You already know that though. If not check out My To Do List. Then you will. But you'll feel guilty about taking the time to read it.
And so I end this here but then again, no. I would feel guilty if I didn't make sure you know that guilt breeds guilt. The guiltier you feel, the guiltier you get. Kind of like smiling and getting smiles in return. Except not so...chipper.
So try that. Smile. Take a deep breath. Lay in the hammock, eat good pizza and play like you've never played before with your kids. Or not. Either way, you'll feel guilty about that.
But try to smile. It may make you feel a bit better.
My To Do List
Fare for Friends: Why We Need Our Gals
The Mommy Wars
For Crying Out Loud!