Tuesday, June 21, 2011

My Big, Fat, Mother-of-a-Bag

"Cause any woman with a purse that big is bound ta have somethin' I don't want to know about."
 - Jason to Amy (True Blood)

I am not a small purse person. I have tried and tried. I have way too much to worry about and a small purse with a long strap that crosses across the front and hangs at the side of my hip would be so...well...hip. And light. But then I look in my purse and realize that it will probably always be a short-lived dream to have this small purse (unless I carried a second one...which would really be a third one if you count the diaper bag).

Some people look at me and think I am super organized. And I really like to be. And I have all the tools to be super-organized. I have the knowledge. I love labels and matching boxes and canisters and files and all that good stuff. But I admit it. I am a bit of a pack rat. And really....it is the pack rat that needs all the organizational stuff, really. I mean, if you don;t have a bunch of stuff to organize, you don't have an issue, do you?

What does this have to do with my big, fat mother-of-a-purse? Well...the fact that I am a pack rat really does not help my cause. If I can't find a garbage, it goes in the purse. If I think I might need it, it goes in the purse. If my kids want me to hold it, it goes in the purse. If I don't have time to put it back where it really belongs, it goes in the purse.

A small purse just does not cut it people.

A reasonable facsimile
 of my bag

Let's take a little look-see in my purse shall we? I currently have: 2 wallets, 1 change purse, 7 napkins from 2 different coffee places, 4 tissues in different states of use, 2 packs of gum, 2 pacifiers, 3 dinky cars, a plastic spoon, 37 (yes, thirty-seven!) different business cards, 7 different scraps of paper with shopping lists on them (organized so nicely by store and section (i.e.: Grocery store: Produce, Meat, Dairy, Frozen, Canned, etc), an inhaler, a large bottle of extra strength Advil, 2 juice boxes, 1 squished granola bar, a pair of gloves (let me remind you it is almost July!), a single sock, my iPhone earphones, 2 magazines, 2 books, so many receipts I can't count them all, and not counting the change in m my several money receptacles, $4.36 in coins. Also, a cheque from the government for $100. From 2 months ago. I also have baby toys, school forms, hand lotion, makeup, tweezers, a nail file, a diaper that is now too small for my baby, a few combs, a few pieces of cheap jewellery...oh man I could go on and on.

Why I need my bag.
Pretty good reason I would say.

So I may not be organized...but I am frickin prepared! I mean if I ever happen to be on the new Let's Make a Deal and they offer me $100 for a hard boiled egg, I just may have one! I usually have something to wipe a nose, buy a much needed Tim Horton's coffee, stick in a crying baby's mouth or read.

I love those little mini Coach bags I see everywhere. I really do. But really, what's the point? All it really says to me is "I just spent $200 on a bag that holds nothing." Yay you.

A cute Coach bag.

So my neck and back may be sore from lugging this thing around. But of course...I have my Advil. And juice to wash it down. And a book or magazine to read while I do that.

Yay me.



Suggested Reading

For Crying Out Loud!
Mother Guilt: I Have it and I Feel Guilty About That
The Mommy Wars
My To Do List
Oh Boy!


  1. Hi there. Been following your blog for a few weeks now. What I love is not knowing what is in store next! I think this would make a great book! Have you ever considered that? I would buy a book written by you. Your sons are so cute too. Love the pics. Such a different blog from the run of the mill mommy blogs. Keep going Lora!

  2. The question is... if you were asked on Lets Make a Deal for the egg, would you even know it was in there? That's my problem... and, I still carry a small purse! I can't get passed that.
    Awesome post Lora... every gal can relate... except of course for those who carry the small Coach purses.

  3. Thanks to both of you! Anon: I would love to write a book. A pipe dream, but never say never! I'm glad I would have a reader! I appreciate your kind words of support especially as a fairly new blogger.

    Sarah: you are probably right. I would not know about the egg until it started to smell probably! Lol. And to all the gals with the little coach bags...good on you! They are cute and force you to be organized...but I just can't do it. I am a big bag gal (unless I am going out dancing or something...which is rare...and even then I often take a big bag!) one of these days I will get my act together. Until then I will embrace the big bag gal that I am!!! :) Thanks again Sarah!!!

  4. I could have written this! Except I couldn't have written it and made it so funny! My purse is exactly the same. Hilarious!