"Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly."
- Ambrose Bierce
There are a lot of moms out there that I admire.
And I am not talkin' big-ass, well known, celebrity type moms. I am referring to everyday moms. Moms I know. Moms who are in the trenches, every day, doing their thing to be the best moms they know how to be.
|"Here's to you and here's to me,|
the best of friends we'll always be.
But if by chance we disagree,
'frick you!', and here's to me."
And it is interesting how different many of these moms I admire are. And I guess that really is the point of this post. Every mom has their own concept of what being a good parent means to them. Every mom approaches parenting their children differently - and some make choices I personally would not make - but that does not mean I don't respect them just the same.
Of course there are moms who make choices I think are ignorant. Like moms who leave their children home alone while they are sleeping so that they can go out and party. That's different. That's...well...shameful.
But in general, most moms are out there doing the best they can, making difficult choices based on what they think is best for their families.
A few examples. I know one mom who has a young daughter and she is currently not working outside the home. I know she would rather not go back to work and she struggles with this. She is an incredibly smart woman who is super kind. I knew her in high school but only recently did we discover we had a lot in common and we have gotten close.
She has even taken it upon herself to tackle revitalizing her husband's old family farmhouse and property. And I am not talkin' washing the kitchen floors here. I am talkin' an entire property that was full of junk and totally overgrown grass, weeds and plants. I am talkin' starting from square one and having a wonderful vision and working on getting there one piece at a time. One room at a time. One blade of grass at a time. And I went to see the progress. And I am simply amazed and inspired by what she has done thus far...and all the plans she has for the future. She is keen, she is green and she lost of all of her frickin baby weight within a year. She rocks.
I know another mom who struggled with infertility and then was blessed with twins. She is actually the wife of a former boyfriend of mine to be honest. I knew her back then, but I reconnected with her a few years back. This is her second marriage and I always kind of saw her as a career-type woman. Strong, outspoken...you know...someone who would never become "just a housewife". But after a less than easy entrance into the world, her twins came home and at home was she and so she remains.
And what I find so admirable about her is how she has chosen to raise her children on her terms, with such conviction. All of the choices she and her husband make are not necessarily ones that I would make...but I always find moms who do things whole-heatedly for the good of her family admirable. In this case, for example, she chooses to raise her children on mostly whole, primarily local/organic foods, much of which she prepares from scratch herself. She takes a holistic, natural approach to the health of her family and she makes no apologies for this. Nor should she. This takes a great deal of time and energy and sometimes I wish she would come over and bring me leftovers.
Both of these moms are ones that I know and also happen to be writers/bloggers, home/decorating junkies and are currently stay-at-home moms and I could go on but I won't. I also know tons of other moms I could write about here but then this post would go on forever.
Like the one who has had an amazing career as a dancer and choreographer, makes me laugh until I pee my pants every time she says something and now lives in Europe with her husband and young sons.
Or the one who has battled a life-threatening eating disorder and is now a thriving mom and teacher who I absolutely adore.
Or the one who has worked her butt off to become a kick-ass pediatrician and professor (and...and...and...) who when referring to her stressful work, I can't say 'hey...we're not curing cancer here", because...well...she kind of is doing her part to try and do that. She is also the mother of my angel-niece and little boo-nephew and my head spins when I think of all she has to wrap her head around on a daily basis.
So many amazing moms, so little time. And if you are a mom...and you don't leave your kids alone while you are out getting drunk...you are probably someone I would admire as well.
You see, short of maybe the odd sociopath, all moms have admirable qualities. We all have our shortfalls as well...but we are all human and so be frickin it. (Exhibit A: I, for one, say "frickin" way too frequently. And I don't even type the apostrophe I know should be at the end because I say it too much and I don't have the frickin time. I could also go on, but that would take longer than listing all of the admirable moms I know.)
Our kids are lucky. We love them unconditionally and we do our best jobs. And at the end of the day, we love them and when we wake up in the morning we love them even more.
And I think that is frickin awesome.