“I know my time is limited and I always think to myself when I start to fall really hard, a day of depression is a day lost and what a shame that would be.”
- Clare Kowaltschuck (on her philosophy of living with cancer)
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Clare Kowaltschuck, May 31, 1973 - Jan 8, 2011 |
Clare was diagnosed with cancer more than four years ago, while she was pregnant with her first and only child - her son Nathan. From that moment on, she set out to build her legacy and to savour every moment by sharing her passion for life, not only with her family and friends, but with everyone she encountered. Clare refused to let her illness stop her from living. In fact, those fortunate enough to have known her always left her company feeling more alive.
I regret that I never saw Clare while she was ill, but I know she was busy living life to the fullest, travelling the world with her husband Adam and Nathan - creating memories, continuing to shine her light on the world.
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Clare, husband Adam and son Nathan on the day they renewed their wedding vows in 2009. |
At one point during her valiant battle, a friend asked for stories about Clare to be submitted for a memory book that was being created for her son. As I was not a close friend, but someone who wanted to contribute, my heart pushed me to write a poem for Clare and Nathan as it was this courageous act of building wonderful memories for her son that moved me so - as the mother of boys myself.
Clare passed away on January 8, 2011. I was honoured to be asked (because Clare had requested this) to read my poem at her funeral service along with a close friend of hers.
I share this poem with you, in memory of Clare and the wonderful person and mother she was.
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Clare and son Nathan |
Lullaby of the Sun
(For Clare & Nathan)
She looks at him…
little hands, her sweet boy
and lives,
and gives
gifts greater than the sea.
They are grand,
they are wondrous,
they are tender from her heart…
she’s a part
of what will make him
her strong, gentle soldier.
And he keeps her from the cold
with his wiggles,
and his giggles…
his wide-eyed smiles
that last for miles…
They embrace her.
He’s her cocoon.
And it’s then quiet,
it is still.
Until…
she opens and unfolds
her colours, her wings,
like songs of butterflies
she always sings.
He reaches up high,
little fingers to the sky,
he needn’t chase…
he knows her grace…
and feels her beam across his face.
And he basks in the warmth
as he knows who it is.
Smiling,
he’s compiling,
the memories…
sweet melodies…
that keep him looking up.
The wind is her song
that will hold him tight
her warm light,
so bright,
he hears her whispers through the night.
It’s her lullaby for him;
like a kiss
against his cheek.
About a son and the sun…
about a boy and his mom.
(For Clare & Nathan)
She looks at him…
little hands, her sweet boy
and lives,
and gives
gifts greater than the sea.
They are grand,
they are wondrous,
they are tender from her heart…
she’s a part
of what will make him
her strong, gentle soldier.
And he keeps her from the cold
with his wiggles,
and his giggles…
his wide-eyed smiles
that last for miles…
They embrace her.
He’s her cocoon.
And it’s then quiet,
it is still.
Until…
she opens and unfolds
her colours, her wings,
like songs of butterflies
she always sings.
He reaches up high,
little fingers to the sky,
he needn’t chase…
he knows her grace…
and feels her beam across his face.
And he basks in the warmth
as he knows who it is.
Smiling,
he’s compiling,
the memories…
sweet melodies…
that keep him looking up.
The wind is her song
that will hold him tight
her warm light,
so bright,
he hears her whispers through the night.
It’s her lullaby for him;
like a kiss
against his cheek.
About a son and the sun…
about a boy and his mom.
- Lora Rossi (May, 2009)
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Clare and Nathan enjoying a treat - smiles all around. |
To read more about Clare's life and spirit, I encourage you to read this lovely article about her from The Toronto Star (published on January 26, 2011 - shortly after her death).
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Clare and some of her closest friends walk to fight breast cancer and they will do it again this year. Go team! |
It is obvious that Clare is still fighting strong - her spirit continues to brighten many lives - and one day, the effort that she put forth will kick cancer in the ass! And many will also fight with her - like my friend Rachel Brown, who is also a wonderful mother of boys who has had her own battle and continues to fight against this disease like the champion she is.
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Clare at Machu Picchu - a painting by Tino Paolini |
Breast Cancer sucks. But life is wonderful. Clare continues to instill this message and I am forever grateful.
Smiles,
Lora
WOW...I love the post and the poem..and then I see my name...thanks...can't really say much else...(as I wipe my tears away!!!). Through my treatment, I joined a class called the Healing Journey...spirituality/mindful meditation..The teacher was AMAZING and she really helped me. At the end of the course, she gave us a bookmark with the most remarkable phrase "My heart has always known that love is all there is"....I live for those words now.
ReplyDeleteA lovely tribute Lora - I was so very lucky to have grown up with Clare on Waverley Road during the early years of our childhood. You capture her story and spirit beautifully.
ReplyDeleteThanks you Rachel and Wendy. I am thinking a lot about Clare this weekend...it being Thanksgiving in Canada. I am so thankful for the many gifts she has given me and continues to give me and so many others. She lives on... Lora
ReplyDeleteI have read both your beautiful poem and the linked article. I never thought that the scenario of that film, "My Life", would be possible in reality, never thought the people would have power to live their life to the fullest and document it for the next generation when they knew they were about to die; so that implies Clare was an incredibly strong character. May she rest in peace.
ReplyDeleteA very heartfelt and thoughtful share. Thank you
ReplyDeletePretty good post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that I have really enjoyed reading your blog posts. Any way I'll be subscribing to your feed and I hope you post again soon. Big thanks for the useful info. Breast cancer
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