"With the past, I have nothing to do; nor with the future. I live now."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Yesterday is over. The future will never arrive. Today...well...just this very moment...is all we have.
Reminding myself to be present is a constant struggle but is key to living a fulfilling life. Part of this is remembering that today is a new day.
I have been known to over-analyse situations, conversations, accusations, etc, and it really only hurts me in the end. What is done is done. Whatever will be will be. (I promise not to start singing, although it is very tempting!)
Focusing on things that have happened in the past just keeps me stuck there. And being stuck is rather uncomfortable and gives me a sense of mental claustrophobia. Being stuck in one's head, thinking about how so and so said this or did that is emotionally draining.
And you can't change the past. But you can change the future by whatever you do and say today. Now.
How are you reacting to what happens to you? Is your ego in check? How is what you are saying affecting others? Words are very powerful. That is why I love them so much...and why I have to be careful with them as well. We all do.
And there are some very powerful words out there that when said with truth and heart, can change things a whole bunch. Here are a few examples:
1. "I'm sorry."
This is a biggie. Not being able to admit when you have hurt someone or said something you didn't fully mean because of ego and pride is something that will only hurt you. Being able to extend that olive branch, admit that you are not perfect, invite someone in for an apologetic hug...well...just try it and you will notice a chain reaction I am betting. It is not easy for people who find this difficult. But trust me. If you start to be a little more vulnerable, people will start to gravitate towards you instead of away.
2. "You're special."
This is something that is especially important for parents to tell their children. Often. I try to make a point of saying this to my boys every day. No matter what has happened, no matter what has gone on during the day...that can be discussed...but the bottom line is I want my kids to know how special I think they are because it is 100% true. They are amazing individuals with wonderful gifts and I let them know how lucky I feel to be blessed enough to be their mom. Even if they get to an age where they roll their eyes and say "yeah, I know mom...", tell them anyways. They need to hear it. Try telling your significant other, your friend, your parent, your sibling, your business associate. It is amazing what a gift it is to hear and to tell.
3. "I love you."
This one may seem painfully obvious but let me point one thing out. There is a difference between the "See ya later 'I love yous'" and the "I am looking at you in the eyes and really being present and telling you from my heart 'I love yous'". The in-passing ones are great - don;t get me wrong - but the heart-felt ones are very important. Make a point of letting the people you love really know how you feel. It reflects back straight into your heart...I promise.
Of course I could go on, but these are my top three. Others include "I understand.", "I am listening.", "I hear you." and "I support you."
Think for a moment how you feel when others say the above words to you. When others not only say the words but then back them up by showing you?
Pick one today and try it. Say it.
Because today is a new day.