Thursday, December 01, 2011

I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up!

I fall and I fall and I fall again.

Oh look! I just fell again!

In fact...I've fallen and I can't get up!

This commercial really isn't supposd to be funny. But it kinda is.

At least, that's how I feel.

Ya know when you are trying...really reach a goal, only to @$%# it up only weeks, days, hours...sometimes minutes into being on the right track?

I am struggling. Like a lot of other people, I am struggling.

There are a few goals I am trying to reach...actually many...but a few in particular that I am thinking of...and I just wish I could stick to the frickin' plan peeps! Or maybe that is my problem. I need a better plan.

Or maybe more will power. Or maybe I am just weak. Maybe I am just not cut out for this shit. Maybe I really have fallen and I can't get up. No matter how hard I try.

The thing is...I know I can.

I think I can. I think I can. I think I can.

Smart frickin train!

Frick...if a little train can motivate itself to reach a goal, then I will be damed if I can't!

One of the things I struggle with is losing this frickin baby weight.

This is not what I mean by baby weight. But my babies all kinda looked like this.

How long can I call it that, by the way? My baby just turned one, so does it still apply? Can I still use that as an excuse to not get up?

Oh...and remember...I broke my foot and mangled my other ankle when I was pregnant. That has got to count for some "I can't get up" points, no? Give me a frickin break! Just not my foot again...please!

OK, this kind of break really goes against what I am trying to accomplish people. But hot-damn, that is a nice 'frow!

Yeah, OK, I will have a chocolate bar, AND sit my ass down on this chocolate bar bench. That will get me somewhere!

Then I use the "I will start again on Monday" line. Yeah...OK then. That works. It is now Thursday, so I have three days to eat all the frickin crap I want and then on Monday I will get up and be perfection!


Carbs be gone! The treadmill will become my lover. And by Boxing Day I will be running to Victoria's Secret to apply for next year's runway show!

This is me in the Victoria's Secret runway show before I had kids.

Obviously the Monday thing is only making matters worse. So now I am thinking the famous New Year's resolution will get me up. 2012, here I come! Watch out...come January 1 I will be running off that celebratory champagne in the frikin snow! Who cares how cold it will be? It will be a new year and a new me! Yes!

Ahhhh...the New Year's resolution diet. Anyways...

Speaking of cold...did I mention I am going to Mexico in May? Yes. And I will be the Matron of Honour for one of my besties in her destination wedding. With her two skinny bridemaids. Awesome! I was 37 weeks preggers with my first baby in her first wedding and talk about fat! And now?

Have you seen the movie "Bridesmaids"?

I actually have not, but I have seen numerous scenes from it and the funny, fat one? That is gonna be me if I don't get up. I figure everyone needs a funny, fat girl in their wedding party.

Hey, what's wring with the funny, fat girl? She was the best one in this movie I hear.

But wait. I didn't have one. Scratch that.

So yeah....Mexico. That means sun. That means the ocean. That means swimming. And generally speaking, that usually means bathing suit. And right now, to me, that means a nerveous breakdown if I don't get up.

So I've fallen. Again.

But I'm getting up.

And while those other lovely bridesmaids will surely be wearing inappropriately small bikinis, I will be happy with a modest one-piece.

What I picture my friend's bridesmaids will look like in Mexico. Frick.

So screw Monday. Screw New Year's. Screw this self-depreciating toro-caca. This self-loathing, funny-fat-girl routine that I use to cover up how crappy I feel about the way that I look.

I just got up.

I think I can...I think I can...





  1. Get up like you say ... but don't beat yourself up, Lora. How are you gonna keep the rest of us encouraged that way? lol :) Tim-

  2. sweet brother Paul sent me a note telling me about the first habit in S. Covey's famous book "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" which helped him. I have read this book...I own this book...and it is a good reminder, so I thought I would share here. Thanks Paul!

    Habit 1 : Be Proactive

    Your life doesn't just "happen." Whether you know it or not, it is carefully designed by you. The choices, after all, are yours. You choose happiness. You choose sadness. You choose decisiveness. You choose ambivalence. You choose success. You choose failure. You choose courage. You choose fear. Just remember that every moment, every situation, provides a new choice. And in doing so, it gives you a perfect opportunity to do things differently to produce more positive results.

    Habit 1: Be Proactive is about taking responsibility for your life. You can't keep blaming everything on your parents or grandparents. Proactive people recognize that they are "response-able." They don't blame genetics, circumstances, conditions, or conditioning for their behavior. They know they choose their behavior. Reactive people, on the other hand, are often affected by their physical environment. They find external sources to blame for their behavior. If the weather is good, they feel good. If it isn't, it affects their attitude and performance, and they blame the weather. All of these external forces act as stimuli that we respond to. Between the stimulus and the response is your greatest power--you have the freedom to choose your response. One of the most important things you choose is what you say. Your language is a good indicator of how you see yourself. A proactive person uses proactive language--I can, I will, I prefer, etc. A reactive person uses reactive language--I can't, I have to, if only. Reactive people believe they are not responsible for what they say and do--they have no choice.

    Instead of reacting to or worrying about conditions over which they have little or no control, proactive people focus their time and energy on things they can control. The problems, challenges, and opportunities we face fall into two areas--Circle of Concern and Circle of Influence.

    Proactive people focus their efforts on their Circle of Influence. They work on the things they can do something about: health, children, problems at work. Reactive people focus their efforts in the Circle of Concern--things over which they have little or no control: the national debt, terrorism, the weather. Gaining an awareness of the areas in which we expend our energies in is a giant step in becoming proactive.