Friday, January 27, 2012

Crying Over You

I don't think Roy was singing about his kids when he belted out his famous tune.

He was probably singin' about a girl.

Come to think of it, I don't think k.d. was either.

k.d. Lang kinda looks like Roy. Come to think of it, she was probably singin' about a girl too. She's Canadian eh? I met her once when I was a kid. I thought her name was Katie. She's awesome.

Wrong k.d. Yuck.
But me...well...I am.

And I am crying over...well...the crying.

I know they...oh the famous "they"...whoever art thou?...say that letting your baby "cry it out" is the best way to get them to go to sleep.

I understand the whole concept of classical conditioning and Pavlov's frickin' dog.

It's simple, right? frickin' simple.

So simple, in fact, that it is driving me bananas. And might I add, nuts!

Besides the fact that bananas and nuts together makes for wonderful bathroom humour fodder or the fact that I am quite a fan of banana-nut anything, GOING bananas and nuts at the same time is rather...ummmm...bananaramanuttiful.

Wow. The jokes that could revolve around this one picture are endless. But that is for another post.

I actually prefer the whole grain varirty. This could drive know.

Ahhhhh, The Wiggles. Autralia's biggest money makers and butt shakers for kids. I have seen then twice in concert. I am hoping for a hatrick. My husband loves them even more.

And that, in case you don't have your Webster's handy, is not a good thing. (Oh frick, I feel another Martha coming on...WARNING!)

This was not a good thing either Ms. Stewart. Bad girl.

And now I am bananaramanuttifully digressing.

Bananarama. They've got it. Yeah baby...they've got it. Probably because they don't have crying babies.

I have been a mother for over 10 years.

I really think I should be better at this shit by now.

Not only that, but I studied Sociology, Phychology, Family & Child Studies and a bunch of other crap at University (including Statistics, yo, and I got an A in that which makes me officially smart in my smart opinion cause Stats is frickin' hard for us artsy-fartsy types!) so ya'd think I would, well, be a little smarter about it all.

I usually wear contacts but I just got these new glasses. Do I look smarter? I think so.

I also studied English...and I am thinking my English profs would be very impressed by how I am doing what I feel is my duty to pump up the Dictionary with new words like "bananaramanuttifully".

So what is such a smart - not smart-ass - but frickin' SMART  - mother of three doing crying over her crying baby you may ask?

Not asking again?

Yup. Too bad again. I'm gonna tell ya anywho.

OK, well, I am not really doing the answering here, I am doing the asking.

And I have no idea why!

Well, this post is just a plethora of information thus far isn't it?

You're welcome.

Now...I am going to...for a moment...try and put aside the "smart-ass" Lora and pull out the "just plain smart" Lora.

Thank you.

Hold on...this is difficult for me.

Thanks again.

OK. I think we're good.

I pride myself on being a decent Mom. I mean, I am so far from perfect it ain't funny (see, I said ain't!) and just because I mentioned "perfect" does not mean I am going to insert another picture of Martha Stewart here as I like to do because I am being smart...not a smart-ass. Frick! I told you this was difficult!

I know that babies are also smart.

Predictable photo choice, I realize.

They are also very manipulative creatures that know exactly how to get mommies to do what they want mommies to do. Like go and pick them up when they are crying. And crying. And crying.

And crying.

And crying.

And crying.

And crying.

And crying.

(See? Don't you want to pick me up just to SHUT me up now? Point made. I think I was being a smart-smart-ass there!)

Not to say that there are not two different camps on this issue.

Two camps. Two very different opinions.

Some people - both professional, parenting-guru types and parents (who are the real gurus of parenting anyways), firmly believe that leaving your child to "cry it out" is damaging. They think that it goes against a mother's natural instinct to respond to her baby.

The whole "attachement parenting" camp is all about bonding with your child. Parents who subscribe to this style of child-rearing and raising tend to breastfeed for a long time, wear their babies (as apposed to putting them in a stroller or putting them down a lot) and sometimes even have a "family bed" where the entire family sleeps together (how they end up with kids is beyond me!).

Now I am hardly and expert in this camp. I learned about it in school and I know some people who are into this. I have nothing against a lot of it as a philosophy, but it really is not for me. To each their own. Whatever works for you and your family.

But I do know this: of course leaving baby to cry goes against my natural instinct people! Why do you think I am having so much trouble!?!??

I mean, to each his-and-her own. If you don't believe in the cry-and-let-cry method of training your youngin to sleep, go nuts! Go bananas in fact! Go all the way to bananarama-bo-bama-nuttiville right along with me. You will just be running into your baby's room (which may actually be your room as well so, whatever) every five minutes and I will be over there on the couch with my ear plugs in, blasting the Enya and eating bon-bons.

I feel relaxed just looking at Enya. Ahhhhhhhh.

OK, this trying to be smart and not a smart-ass thing is not working.

And..frick!...little Drew is crying again.

I hafta go!

Oh'm gonna leave him.

I'm gonna keep writing. Stay with me. I need the support.

Where was I?

Man this is a bad post.

So anyways, I'm struggling.

I am struggling to stay sane while my little Drew-boo learns that this Mama is not gonna take it anymore. (Yes. Here comes Dee Snider as if on cue. I am so conditioned.).

Twisted Sister We're Not Gonna Take It & Other Hits Album Cover
Had to be done.

Oh man. He just will not stop.

Hold on. I'm just gonna rock him for a few minutes. Wait here. (Here's some Enya for you while you wait.) I know. I'm nice like that.

Frick! Thanks for the support peeps! You were supposed to tell me to keep writing! To let him cry! Are you in the other camp or something? Oh. Some of you are. Sorry. Fair enough.

So I guess I am in "let-him-cry-it-out" camp purgatory or something cause I just can't stay consistent.

I really need to pick a camp.

To pitch my tent.

To make that tent nice and cozy. With a little crib in it. For Drew of course.

And maybe a rocking chair.

Now this is cool.

Just in case.




  1. haha Lora..I feel your pain.. Kaydie was especially hard..but I remember sitting in the next room bawling my eyes out because I was the most terrible mother on the planet! Hugs.. You'll get through it! :)

  2. I have no idea what this means " I am bananaramanuttifully digressing" but the new glasses make you look like your sociology professor! ha!
    Blessings to ya! :-))