"When we are unable to find tranquility within ourselves, it is useless to seek it elsewhere."
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld
I am finding it hard to relax.
I, like many of you, lead a very busy, hectic life. Most moms do.
But lately I seem to be a bit of an adrenaline junkie of sorts.
|Well...not like this.|
I go, go, go and then I go some more.
|Maybe I should just become a Go Go dancer?|
Then, when I finally get the rare opportunity to sit down and take a breather, I find it hard to...well...catch my breath.
This is not a good thing.
I often talk about the importance of taking time for oneself, of living in the present and of making sure taking care of number one is made a priority.
|I used to take baths.|
But sometimes I find it hard to take my own advise.
When the house is quiet and I am sitting down, I seem to be really wound up pretty tight.
I can't just be cool.
|Me in a rare, cool moment.|
My to-do list is racing through my brain like a steam engine and trying to quiet my mind and just "be" is difficult.
Sometimes I even find myself shaking.
Like a leaf of a tree, I shake, knowing that soon the wind will blow again and the calm before the next storm will be fleeting.
So why can't I just enjoy the calm?
I guess when your life is filling with running around, chauffeuring here and there, cooking, cleaning, feeding, diapering, writing, networking, homeworking, hockeying, making up words like I just did there...well...slowing down take time.
And peeps...I don't have a lot of time!
My nights are not consistent with sleep.
|Me being cool and trying to sleep at the same time.|
I wake up a lot, I toss and turn, my baby stirs, my boys get up to go pee, my husband shifts his weight and there I am. Awake again. Frick!
I am also an anxious person by nature.
I think I have gotten better at managing my anxiety...but it is something I struggle with every day.
I worry about a lot! I worry about my kids, my finances, my weight, my home and how I wish I could keep the messes and clutter that goes along with a busy household under control.
|Yes, I have tried worry dolls.|
I worry about my blog, my writing, my next paid gig, la la la.
That is a lot on ones shoulders.
|Talk about having the world on your shoulders. Frick!|
Of course, I know I am not alone.
I know you worry too.
But I need to put a little more effort into separating all the hustle and bustle that is my life from the precious time that I do get to myself and not waste it thinking about the hustling and the bustling that is to come.
I need to take my own advise.
I need to be quiet.
I need to be still.
I need to just "be" sometimes.
|Of course, this "be" is actually a "B" which stands for baby, which reminds me of a lot of crap I need to do.|
So this being said...I am going to stop writing now and go and sit.
And probably think about what I am going to write about next. And then do some laundry. And then feed my baby. And then go to my son's hockey practice. Oh...crap...I need to pick up some milk!