Serenity Now!

"When we are unable to find tranquility within ourselves, it is useless to seek it elsewhere."

   - Francois de La Rochefoucauld

I am finding it hard to relax.

I, like many of you, lead a very busy, hectic life. Most moms do.

But lately I seem to be a bit of an adrenaline junkie of sorts.

Well...not like this.

I go, go, go and then I go some more.

Maybe I should just become a Go Go dancer?

Then, when I finally get the rare opportunity to sit down and take a breather, I find it hard to...well...catch my breath.

This is not a good thing.

I often talk about the importance of taking time for oneself, of living in the present and of making sure taking care of number one is made a priority.

I used to take baths.

But sometimes I find it hard to take my own advise.

When the house is quiet and I am sitting down, I seem to be really wound up pretty tight.

I can't just be cool.

Me in a rare, cool moment.

My to-do list is racing through my brain like a steam engine and trying to quiet my mind and just "be" is difficult.

Sometimes I even find myself shaking.

Like a leaf of a tree, I shake, knowing that soon the wind will blow again and the calm before the next storm will be fleeting.

So why can't I just enjoy the calm?

Serenity now!!!

I guess when your life is filling with running around, chauffeuring here and there, cooking, cleaning, feeding, diapering, writing, networking, homeworking, hockeying, making up words like I just did there...well...slowing down take time.

And peeps...I don't have a lot of time!

My nights are not consistent with sleep.

Me being cool and trying to sleep at the same time.

I wake up a lot, I toss and turn, my baby stirs, my boys get up to go pee, my husband shifts his weight and there I am. Awake again. Frick!

I am also an anxious person by nature.

She's purdy.

I think I have gotten better at managing my anxiety...but it is something I struggle with every day.

I worry about a lot! I worry about my kids, my finances, my weight, my home and how I wish I could keep the messes and clutter that goes along with a busy household under control.

Yes, I have tried worry dolls.

I worry about my blog, my writing, my next paid gig, la la la.

That is a lot on ones shoulders.

Talk about having the world on your shoulders. Frick!

Of course, I know I am not alone.

I know you worry too.

But I need to put a little more effort into separating all the hustle and bustle that is my life from the precious time that I do get to myself and not waste it thinking about the hustling and the bustling that is to come.

I need to take my own advise.

I need to be quiet.

I need to be still.

I need to just "be" sometimes.

Of course, this "be" is actually a "B" which stands for baby, which reminds me of a lot of crap I need to do.

So this being said...I am going to stop writing now and go and sit.

And probably think about what I am going to write about next. And then do some laundry. And then feed my baby. And then go to my son's hockey practice. Oh...crap...I need to pick up some milk!

Yes please.

Smiles,

Lora