I have always been a pretty "play it safe" kinda gal.
What I mean by this, is that when I look back at how I have lived my life thus far, I have pretty much gone through my different "stages" so far in a fairly predictable fashion.
|I am so safe, in fact, that I have never had green hair. I did used to wear tights with stripes though.|
I graduated from high school.
I went to University.
I graduated from University.
I got a full-time "real" job.
I met and dated my husband.
I got married.
We bought a house.
We had a baby.
We had another baby.
We waited a while and then had another baby.
Throughout this, I stayed at home a bit and worked my way up the "work ladder" - increasing my pay, moving around a bit, going from entry level to Manager to Director in predictable succession.
I have not done a lot of travelling. Most of the travel I have done has been for work.
I don't feel like I have taken a lot of risks.
But I must say, I think I have taken more "baby step" risks over the past little while than I have in the past. I know this is because I am older and perhaps a little wiser. I am understanding more how short life is and that it is not to be wasted. I get that living a life that is authentic is important if you wanna be happy.
|Me lookin' all happy and snappy.|
Now saying one is a "risk-taker" is all relative.
|This is me skydiving. Yeah. Anyways. As if.|
Some people may look at me and my life and think I am a coward or boring or full of fear.
Some may look and think I am a dare-devil.
Things like leaving my "real job"
to be at home with my kids and write was a pretty big risk. For me.
For others, that may seem like no big deal.
One thing I don't want, is to look back on my life one day and realize all of the things I didn't do or try or experience.
But more than that, I don't want to look back and look at all the money I have made or all the accolades I have received or all the people I know.
I want to feel connected. To feel like I have made a difference. To feel like my life meant something both to me and to others. Especially those that I love.
I want my three boys to look at me and think "I am lucky to have that woman as my mom." This is the single, most important thing to me.
|Me and one of my three boys.|
I want my husband to look at me and think "I am lucky to have that woman as my wife." This, as well, is right up there.
|I keep using this picture of my husband and I. I think I need to get some more pics of the two of us together done.|
I want my close friends to look at me and think "I am lucky to have that woman as my friend." As you can see, there is a pattern here.
|Lars and Sars - lifer friends.|
Relationships - real, passionate, messy, wonderful, difficult relationships - are what life is really all about.
I could travel the world, work until I drop, get rich and famous, wear designer clothes, get a bunch of plastic surgery so I look like Barbie...we all could - but what would we be risking...what would we be losing...in the process?
I am not saying you can't have a mix of all the things you want in this life. Your life is what you make it.
But keeping my priorities in order is something I struggle with and try to think about every day.
And I would rather be hugged with caring arms wearing a paper bag than lounge in the sun on a fancy boat all alone.
|Nothing like hugs in bed with my little guys!|
Maybe that makes me feel safe. Maybe that makes me boring.
But I would risk anything to look back and feel love.
And I'm not sorry about that at all.