I have always been a pretty "play it safe" kinda gal.
What I mean by this, is that when I look back at how I have lived my life thus far, I have pretty much gone through my different "stages" so far in a fairly predictable fashion.
|I am so safe, in fact, that I have never had green hair. I did used to wear tights with stripes though.|
I graduated from high school.
I went to University.
I graduated from University.
I got a full-time "real" job.
I met and dated my husband.
I got married.
We bought a house.
We had a baby.
We had another baby.
We waited a while and then had another baby.
Throughout this, I stayed at home a bit and worked my way up the "work ladder" - increasing my pay, moving around a bit, going from entry level to Manager to Director in predictable succession.
I have not done a lot of travelling. Most of the travel I have done has been for work.
I don't feel like I have taken a lot of risks.
But I must say, I think I have taken more "baby step" risks over the past little while than I have in the past. I know this is because I am older and perhaps a little wiser. I am understanding more how short life is and that it is not to be wasted. I get that living a life that is authentic is important if you wanna be happy.
|Me lookin' all happy and snappy.|
Now saying one is a "risk-taker" is all relative.
|This is me skydiving. Yeah. Anyways. As if.|
Some people may look at me and my life and think I am a coward or boring or full of fear.
Some may look and think I am a dare-devil.
Things like leaving my "real job" to be at home with my kids and write was a pretty big risk. For me.
For others, that may seem like no big deal.
One thing I don't want, is to look back on my life one day and realize all of the things I didn't do or try or experience.
But more than that, I don't want to look back and look at all the money I have made or all the accolades I have received or all the people I know.
I want to feel connected. To feel like I have made a difference. To feel like my life meant something both to me and to others. Especially those that I love.
I want my three boys to look at me and think "I am lucky to have that woman as my mom." This is the single, most important thing to me.
|Me and one of my three boys.|
I want my husband to look at me and think "I am lucky to have that woman as my wife." This, as well, is right up there.
|I keep using this picture of my husband and I. I think I need to get some more pics of the two of us together done.|
I want my close friends to look at me and think "I am lucky to have that woman as my friend." As you can see, there is a pattern here.
|Lars and Sars - lifer friends.|
Relationships - real, passionate, messy, wonderful, difficult relationships - are what life is really all about.
I could travel the world, work until I drop, get rich and famous, wear designer clothes, get a bunch of plastic surgery so I look like Barbie...we all could - but what would we be risking...what would we be losing...in the process?
I am not saying you can't have a mix of all the things you want in this life. Your life is what you make it.
But keeping my priorities in order is something I struggle with and try to think about every day.
And I would rather be hugged with caring arms wearing a paper bag than lounge in the sun on a fancy boat all alone.
|Nothing like hugs in bed with my little guys!|
Maybe that makes me feel safe. Maybe that makes me boring.
But I would risk anything to look back and feel love.
And I'm not sorry about that at all.
Lora, the wife of my youth and my children when they are young are precious memories now. You are doing the right thing to make them priorities. You can not go back. :)ReplyDelete
Great post my friend.. I personally think you're a risk taker...and I admire the risks that you've taken thus far... They make me jealous.. and I wish I was brave enough to take similar risks. It's been bothering me for years..the whole "live your life authentically" vs "make lots of money and support your family"... kudos to you..ReplyDelete