Monday, April 30, 2012

Should You Have Baby #3?

When my husband and I first got married we thought that three kids sounded good.

I am one of three and he is one of two. We knew we wanted kids for sure. We hammered that out on our first date.

Actually, we hammered that out within the first hour that we met. Well...not that we wanted to have kids together quite yet...but that we wanted families.

We were both at that "why bother if they don't want to have kids?' age. When he brought this up in the bar that evening we met, I knew that either he could be "the One"...or that he had a really good pick-up line. As it turned out, both were true.

Rob and I the night we met.
OK, maybe not.

We also knew we wanted our children to have siblings. Three just seemed right to us.

Less than a year after we got married, I was pregnant with our first son.

Yup. This is me and little, unborn Julian...our oldest son.

Parenthood was more challenging than we thought - as I think it is for everyone - and we started to think that two kids sounded more appropriate.

When our first son was about two and a half years old we welcomed our second son.

Parenthood to two kids was not as much of a shock to the system as becoming parents for the first time...but things were busy with two under three years old.

We thought our hunch was a good one. Two kids.

Our oldest boys, Julian and Noah.

Cool. We're good. We're done. We are a nice little family.

And so we were for quite a while.

Things were busy...and I stayed home for a while and my husband even stayed home for a while and we motored along.

Fast forward several years.

When we were quite safely (so we thought) and comfortably out of the baby zone (we had even cleared out all of our baby stuff and my maternity clothes) guessed it peeps...I found out I was expecting again.

"What? A baby? Yay!!!"

WTF? (Wednesday? Thursday? Friday?) I think it was a Wednesday when I peed on the stick actually.

But I digress as always.

So when we had an 8 year old and a 6 year old, we then found ourselves with a newborn. Our third son.

Our baby boy Drew.
In case the crooked letters on the wall didn't tip you off.

And baby makes 3.

Well...3 kids. If you count us, that would be 5. You knew that? Sorry. Didn't mean to spoon-feed ya. I have had three babies! Give me a break!

Remember this show? It was about a family with 3 girls.
Give YOU a break?
Try 3 boys!

I know a lot of people wrestle with the decision of whether or not to have a third child. I mean, with two, you are not out-numbered. The world seems designed for a nice, 4-person family. Cars, booths at restaurants, hotel rooms, yadda, yadda, yadda. Adding a third just throws everything off!

Adding another child to this lovely sculpture would surely throw it off balance!

And I am not about to sit here and blog about what I think people should do. That would be ignorant...and quite frankly, I have no idea what people should do!

I have no idea why we do these things either.

All I can do is share my own experience, which, of course, is vastly different than anyone elses'.

Has my life gotten more difficult with the addition of a third child?

Yes. Of course it has.

Has my life been enriched by the addition of a third child?

Yes. It certainly has.

Do I ever think to myself, "Oh man, we should have been more careful!"?

Yes, I will admit that I have my moments! We all do.

But in life, you tend to regret more the things that you DON'T do, rather than the things you DO do.

Except, perhaps, this tattoo. 

And once a child is born, you tend not to regret having them. But I do know people who look back and wish they had had another.

In the grand scheme of things, I think having a third child was very good for our family in many, unexpected ways - besides the fact that we have a wonderful addition to our family in little Drew.

That is life for ya! The domino effect of things that them good or bad...usually render many a treasured surprise if you really unravel it all.

And so, if you are wondering if you should have a third child, all I can say is don't think about it too much. This is not a matter of the mind.

Try to feel about it.

Because it is a matter of the heart.

( a bottle of wine and see what happens. Worked for me!)

...and, if you will, an expect on "cutting cheese".
Help me.


1 comment:

  1. Love the heartwarming story that is so much a part of your life. I needed a little Lora refresher this morning. :)