Thursday, June 28, 2012

Paralyzed by the Long List

Have you ever had so much to much on your plate that you get totally stuck?

That is a lot of noodles peeps!

I mean, like, you feel almost paralyzed by the sheer monstrosity of it all.

It is like feeling frozen.

It is like your to-do list is so crazy that all the words turn into jumbled letters on the page and you can't even comprehend any of it. You stare and you don't know where to begin.

Come on! Bring balance to the force and assemble the avengers in one day?
Talk about overwhelming!!!

And so for a while, you do nothing.

But instead of relaxing, you worry.

You worry about all the things you know need attending to but you can't move.

Your eyes can't focus.

This is actually how I see without my contacts or glasses on.
Actually it is even worse than this.
True story.
But I digress...

The sounds in the background all mesh together like a tangled net threatening to wrap itself around your brain...tighter and tighter...until you can't even think at all.

This is not exactly what I meant...but it is probably not exactly what he meant to do either.
Ball in the net dude...not your noggin!

Perhaps it is because nothing on that jumbled list of things you have to do involves doing something solely for yourself.

Maybe it is because at least a third of the items that you think you are supposed to do don't even have to be done. You just think they do.

Maybe some of them can wait.

That frickin' list is waaaaaaaaay to long to process peeps!

This is me looking at a to-do list that is way to long.
Not a pretty picture.

I know...because I have one. And instead of dealing with it, here I am procrastiwriting.

We need to learn how to cross things off, say no, give ourselves some slack, delegate and ask for help.

Ya gotta love yourself.
And ya gotta show yourself some love too.

We need to understand that these manifesto-type lists need to be broken down into mini, realistic, manageable lists.

Kinda like this one.
Notice the one about enjoying a dinner out?

So figure out what needs to be done today...or this weekend. Maybe it is 3 things...maybe it is 5...maybe it is only 1. What seems realistic an manageable to you? When does the list go from "I can do that!" to "Oh help me  Lord!!!!"?

Rome was not built in a day peeps.

This took at least four days...for sure!!!

And make sure to include something for you and only you on your list.

Maybe it is a half-hour to read. Perhaps it is a yoga class. If it is watching "Project Runway"...that is fine. Whatever turns your crank and/or makes you smile.

I, personally, went to Mexico for a week and look how happy I was?
OK...that is a rare occurrence. But hey...I dig Project Runway too yo!

If you enjoy it...and if falls under the category "me time", then nothing is wrong with it as long as no body gets hurt.

I am easily overwhelmed and so I have learnt the hard way that "grandmaster lists" are fine...but it must be broken down, otherwise you will be flash-frozen.

How could I not...after saying "grandmaster" and "flash" in the same sentence?

I have to take things day by day and then I can focus at the immediate tasks at hand instead of worrying about everything else and getting nothing done.

Instead of getting paralyzed.

She has a loooooong list.
Or maybe just too much botox.
I'm guessing the former.

And now...I need to make some hard boiled eggs. Because I need them for my new "better eating"plan. And that is one of the items on my list of things I want to get done TODAY.

In case you didn't know what hard boiled eggs look like.
You're welcome.

As for what I need to get done tomorrow?

Well...that is for another list.



Monday, June 25, 2012

A Blog Post About Nothing

So sometimes I feel like writing...simply because.

I don't have a topic or an idea or a concept in mind. I just wanna write and so I start writing.

Like right now.

I have no idea what this post is gonna end up being about. Perhaps nothing.

But if Seinfeld can make a top-rated, hilarious television program about nothing, then I figure I am allowed to write a blog post about the same thing.

Nice glasses Bubbles.
Errr...I mean, Jerry.

Good. Hey! Now I have a topic. I have something to write about.


What did I say you ask?

Because nothing is something isn't it?

Otherwise, there wouldn't be a word for it. It would not be an "it".

Usually when I do these stream of consciousness type of posts where I don't even start with a topic, one quickly emerges. A simple thought, a word, a song on the radio, something one of my kids says in the background, whatever...sparks an idea that leads to a path that leads to a blog post about something.

And again...nothing is something, right? Or is it?


Even deeper.
Thanks Jack Handy.

But I have this feeling that writing about nothing will not translate as well as making a funny sitcom about it. I have a sinking suspicion that you are already getting bored.

Sorry dudes.

Sorry - but nothing is the topic I am sticking with.

It is actually harder to write about nothing than about something. Because I really like to go off on my little tangents as you know...but nothing does not have tangents does it? Because tangents are something. And this is about nothing.

What would a post about nothing be without a photo of nothing?

So as a certain U.S. President once said, I must "stay the course".

"A thousand points of light."

Do you have any idea what that meant? "A thousand points of frickin' light?"

Ahhh the Dana days of SNL.
It really sucks now.

Well Bush said it. So I assume it was about a lot of nothing.

I have nothing in my stomach...I should eat something. Oh wait. I should eat nothing. In keeping with the topic at hand of course.

But lucky for you all it is lunch time.

And lunch is something indeed.

This blog post is brutal. I don't think I will try to write about nothing again.

Oh yeah Simon?
Well The X Factor is pretty brutal too dude!

But I won't beat myself up about it.

'Tis true, after all. 



Friday, June 22, 2012

Rainbow Ramblings

That is a very confusing title to a blog post.

Yes peeps.
Good frickin luck understanding both the title and the body of this blog post!

It sounds more like the title of a poem or something.

Anyways...a rainbow came to mind when I thought about what it was I was gonna blog about today.

An actual photograph of inside my mind!
I have many talents.
Mind photography is just one of them.

As you know, rainbows come about through the wonders of nature when sun and rain - or lots of frickin' flying' water like at Niagara Falls! - meet.

Sun and rain. Yin and Yang. Happiness and sadness. Laughter and tears. Hope and fear.

How's THAT for tying underlying themes together? Holla!

Oh how I love me a nature/light and dark metaphor!

So yeah. These are obviously things that fall on opposite sides of the emotional scale. (Disclaimer: There probably is such thing as an emotional scale, but I have never seen it. I mean...can you imagine a scale...crying? I not funny. Maybe the emotion scale would be a better way of putting it. But if my scale were emotional it certainly would cry every time I stood on it...but I digress. Oh...I mean...I manifest! I have a wickedly healthy body! is now out there in the Universe.)

This kind of reminded of going out into the Universe. Like the things I manifest.

Where was I?

Yes...these things are basically opposites.

So how the frick do we human beings go from feeling one thing to another thing....back and forth...sometimes within moments of each other?

This pic is kinda cheese.

Like, common dudes! Sometimes I feel like I am a walking oxymoron.

Or just a moron.

Not an ox, generally.

Or maybe a better word would be rainbow?

Whoa dude.

But really now. How can I feel so hopeful and happy and light and sunflowers and violins one minute and then feel afraid and sad and dark and clouds and Leonard Cohen the next? (I mean...besides when you look at the image above. That one funky picture dudes!)

It's confusing peeps!

It's kind of like I have a map and every time I look down at it, my route has changed.

The Rainbow Bridge. guessed it!...Niagara Falls.
Do I go to the US side or the Canadian side? My map is screwed up!
(Go to the Canadian side...duh!!! It is waaaaaaay better! True story, eh? Not just because I'm Canadian.)

Oh shut it with the cheese-ball metaphors Lora! Do you think it makes you sound all poetic and deep and philosophical? Oh you do? are right.

Carry on.

And now I am having a conversation with myself on my blog.

Yes...I am certainly certifiable.

But that is what having all of these mixed emotions does! It makes me all...wait for it now...this is my favourite word...discombobulated. (I know...along with the metaphors, I also possess a very impressive vocabulary. I will be giving autographs after this post. Get in line.)

Like just look at this frickin blog post! What the heck am I even saying?

Maybe that I am human and so are you?

Maybe that I support gay rights?

Maybe that if you ever feel all emotionally jumbled up and all over the place that you are not alone?

Yeah. I guess that is what I'm saying.

And that I happen to think rainbows are beautiful.

Why else would I put so many frickin rainbow pictures in the blog post?

And that this is one hell of a rambling post.

And that the title of this post is actually pretty frickin appropriate.



Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Work's Gotta Work!

So I am for sure, without a doubt going back to work.

And one day, I hope I will have these legs as well!


There are no ifs, ands or buts about it.

My job hunt is now on the front burner and heat is on high.

Yeah...kinda like this.

For a few reasons - not to be discussed at this time - I need a

I am so frickin' predictable.

The money I make through my writing gigs is great - but it just isn't gonna cut it now.

I hope to continue writing articles, etc...but my priority at present is to start making some real money.

I am now accepting payment.
Then maybe I won't have to find a job!

I truly believe that the best things in life are free, but reality points to the fact that I have three little people depending on me (as well as their Dad) to provide them with shelter, food, diapers, hockey and the twenty million other things that come with the territory of having children.

I kinda enjoy having a life as well. And some of that includes having a little money left over for myself.

So life is gonna change around here big time.

Piggy bank. Money. Coin. Change.
Get it? I love it when a stock photo comes together!

More than most of you even know.

But change is what makes life interesting...or so I keep telling myself...and entering this new chapter of my life will be interesting for sure.

Funnily enough, this new chapter in my life is pretty much coinciding with a big birthday. September I will be turning the BIG 4-0.

Sorry...I mean I will be turning XL.
But XL means Extra Large...and that ain't good either!

As much as I have been fighting this inevitable event, I am now looking at it as a positive turning point. My plan is to make my 40s my best decade yet! I know that is very Oprah-esque of me to say, but what can I say? Maybe I have learnt a thing or three from watching and reading her for so many years.

I am stronger than I know.
See? Thanks to Oprah, I know that now!

So I think work is gonna work.

Being a stay-at-home-mom to my boys off and on while they were (and still are!) young has not been fact it ha been harder than any paying job I have ever had...but I don't regret one single second of it.

How could I regret a moment with these handsome faces?

I have shared many wonderful moments and the luxury of enjoying both quality and quantity time with them is not lost on me. Some moms never get that choice.

But I am now comfortable with the fact that I am a happier mom and a happier me when I have balance in terms of home and work. I enjoy working. And therefore, I enjoy my children more when I am with them. And if I am a happier mom...well, that translates into happier children.

It took me a long while to figure this out. I really wanted to want to be a full-time stay-at-home-mom. But we are not all cut from the same cloth. To those of you moms that love being at home full-time all I can say is kudos to you! You are special people and most likely have a shit-load of additional patience that perhaps I don't.

In any case...I had better stop blogging and start job hunting!

I agree TP. Your job sucks large dude!

Oh...but peeps...I love blogging and writing too much to give it up just because I am planning to return to work. So stop crying now. I will still be here.

Listen peeps. I promise!
Now stop sobbing will ya? ;)



Monday, June 18, 2012

The Manifest Manifesto

"Let yourself be silently drawn by the silent pull of what you really love."
 - Rumi

Those of you read my blog know that I like to digress.

Really what this means is that I tend to start talking about one thing and then I go off on many a tangent and start talking about something totally unrelated about the topic at hand and then I realize I must get back to it.

Dude! I could have written this book!
I hate when people beat me to it!

But I digress.

And people say they rather enjoy my digressions. I have kind of a stream-of-consciousness style of writing that keeps things right in the moment and follows my often wacky train of thought. Or trains.

Was their any doubt Thomas and his friends would end up in a photo under my mention of trains?

Actually my head is like a veritable train station. Lots of trains going this way and that going at different speeds on their way to far away places. Heading for what?

Or even...a train wreck?

But I digress.

See? There I go again.

And ya know what?

I think I want to try something completely different peeps.

I won't stop my photo caption digressions though.
I promise.

I need more focus.


So rather than constantly digressing...I think I need to start manifesting.

That's right. I need to manifest.

The definition of the verb manifest is as follows: 

Display or show (a quality or feeling) by one's acts or appearance; demonstrate: "manifest signs of 

The world is in the palm of your hand.

So yeah. It's about that time.

I am all about positive change...and in order to move onward and upward in my life I need a better word. And manifest seems to fit the bill.

It all goes back the The Law of Attraction. As you may know, I completely agree with this law and know that it works in wild and wicked ways...if you just believe it.

Add caption

And live it.

And who knows...maybe write it!

For example, if you think and feel as though you already have what you and the universe will manifest that which you focus on.

A bizarre little picture portraying the magnetic power of The Law of Attraction.

Let's say you want to become rich. If you focus on the fact that you don;t have the money that you desire, then you will stay right there, looking at the lack in your bank account. If you sit a worry about not having enough, you will remain right where you are.

This does not look like a happy man.

On the other hand, if you see yourself as a thriving, successful someone who is already rich, then the riches will follow. You are not sitting there worrying about what you don't have, but rather, you are manifesting what you want...and then you shall receive.

Looks fun eh?

If you constantly veer away from that...or digress...then you will get whatever you digress to.

And because this blog is one of the ways that I sort though my own life...I am not going to digress.

At least I am going to try.

I need to stick with the program peeps!

I'm going to manifest.

This is me manifesting.

And I suppose this is hardly a manifesto.  But perhaps one day I will have enough behind me that I will be able to manifest one. 

For now...I'm gonna see how this works.