Monday, August 06, 2012

Unda Pressha!

I have a confession to make.

No, i am certainly not a shopaholic.

I am unda pressha! (Insert David Bowie / Queen song Under Pressure here).

Oh wait. I can do that! Ahhhhh technology! Here ya go!

I write a lot about my struggles in life...and I have many...and I try and throw in some humour along the way because otherwise I would be one, giant mommy-whiner...and that gets pretty old, pretty fast.

This, however, does not get old.

And I never claim to be someone who is getting it all right. In fact, I try to communicate the opposite. I am right there with you all, in the trenches of parenthood, of life, just trying to get through it all and improve on myself as a person at the same time.

But dudes. I really hafta get off my ass and practice more of what I preach!


Not that I consider myself a preacher. I don't. I just kinda used that term for lack of a better one.

I think we are all quite aware that there are certain things we could do in our daily lives that would help us...that would improve our health and wellness...that would make life less stressful...etc. The thing is...many of us don't actually put them into practice.

I am one of those people.

I mean...some things I do...of course. But I know there is a lot more I could be doing.

One of the things I should be doing is not putting so much pressure on myself.

Yes...kinda like I have been doing my whole life.
Sorry about the cheesy stock photo peeps.
Frick! This photo could have been way better!

Kinda like I am doing right now.

But seriously peeps...I think if I am gonna write about it...extol the virtues of something...I should probably be the first one to actually try and be a little more proactive.

OK. So if you are a Covey fan, you know this is the first of his 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
So why is this beaver telling me about it?
Proactive. Beaver. I am not even gonna go there peeps.
And yes...I digress.

See...there I go again. I am incredibly hard on myself. Unforgiving. Guilt-ridden. Frustrating. Classic Virgo.

VIRGO...not Viggo.
But're welcome!
Oh! There he is again!
Hello Viggo.
You're welcome again.

And I do try. I really do. But I always feel like I should be trying harder...doing more...being better. Perhaps spending less time looking at hot pics of Viggo Mortensen. At the very least, trying my best.

I guess that is just it.

Sometimes I don't feel as though I am trying my best.

I feel like I am being lazy or something.

OK...perhaps not THAT lazy.
But then again, at least she is not still in her PJs.
Props to her for that!

I mean, I could throw all the excuses in the book at you right how I have three little boys and, well, what other excuse do I need really?

And speaking of excuses...I figure any time I mention my boys I am allowed to post a photo of them.
This was taken a few days ago.
I could just stop there.

But really now. Enough. So I am a mom. Big frickin' deal. Many a mom does many an amazing thing every, single day.

And there I go again being hard on myself.

So there it is - one of my biggest struggles - I always think I could and should be doing better.

Hey! Leggo my ego!
Easier said than done.
Don't know what I'm talkin' about Willis?
Try reading some Tolle.

And I am not just saying this so that you can all leave me comments telling me how wonderful and amazing and great I am already. I mean, please go ahead and do that if you want...I always appreciate reader support...but I honestly do have this problem of believing I am not living up to my own expectations...and what I perceive to be the expectations of others.

And I don't really know where it comes from...besides my astrological sign.

Oh don't get me started!
First of all, this should read "'re a Virgo". See reason #10.
I could write an entire post on these.
Mental note for later.
But for now...I digress again.

My parents are were and continue to be two of the most positive, encouraging people on this planet. They did and continue to tell me how wonderful and amazing and great I am already. much for blaming them. Can't do it. That would be too simple.

It drives me kinda nutty.

I kinda look like Jerry Lewis here, I realize.

So I think what I really need to that I have written all of this to try my best...but more so, understand that my best does not have to mean the best. And my best today may be just plain shit. Because we all have days like that. And I'm allowed.

And sometimes I need to give myself that extra little push...because too many shit days in a row is not my best. I get into ruts fairly easily...and I know this about myself.

Yeah. Not fun.

I am a creature of habit and if I get into a bad one...well I know I have to work a little harder to break it and get that snowball rolling back in the right direction again.

Ya dig?

Rut? Dig? Get it?
I dig.

Now I just have to find that balance.

Not sure I can find this much balance.

And I will continue to fall.

And I will continue to pull myself back up.

All of us will.

Because that is what we do.

I hafta keep on tellin' myself that that is good enough.

And even though I usually don't believe it...maybe if I tell myself often enough it will be.

Here's hopin'!



No comments:

Post a Comment