Wednesday, May 15, 2013

The Weight Loss Wait

"It's not whether you got knocked down; it's whether you get up." 
- Vince Lombardi


So I am still trying to lose weight.

And I read a lot about ways in which I can do this.

And I am tired of the wait.

The wait to lose the weight...if you will.

I eat lots of veggies. But I like carrots and I saw somewhere that carrots have sugar, so I shouldn't eat rabbit food.

So...fruit is good for me. Yeah...I'll eat fruit. Lots and lots of fruit. I make smoothies and drink them like Carrie and her pals on Sex and the City drink cosmos. But there are good and bad fruits, right? Too many bananas are bad. Too many calories...too heavy. Oh but how good they taste with my low-fat, chocolate frozen yogurt!

OK, so I stock up on berries! Superfoods! Anti-oxidants galore! But those frickin' seeds! They get caught in my teeth and what about all this talk about the crap they put on strawberries to make them stay "fresh" and look all beautiful and red? Man!

So let's stock up on the lean protein! That rhymes, so it must be some poetic matching of some sort! Chicken boobs! I love chicken breast! I love the boobs even more than that higher fat brown it is perfect! But they cost a lot...and what about the vegetarians out there who swear they stay slim by knocking all meat and poultry from their diets? Come on!

Well screw them! I am not a vegetarian. I love animals, but hey, this is the circle of life peeps and it is my life I am trying to change. Sorry little chickens!

But it is really gross how most companies and the farmers that work for them raise "monster" chickens these days. They pump them up with God knows what so that they grow fast and grow big to keep up with demand. Chickens are crammed into these dark coops for the sole purpose of making them huge and killing them fast so that we can all enjoy massive, plump and juicy chickens. Yuck!

So what about pork? I am trying not to be a pig, so why not eat them instead? Yet again, my favourite way to eat pork is to have pork tenderloin, which is also the leanest part. I think.

Well...unless you count bacon. I mean, who doesn't like bacon? But I am willing to give that up if I can enjoy a nice, grilled or baked pork tenderloin. But isn't the pig sacred to some? I guess my "religion" does not subscribe to this, so I'm good. But am I being disrespectful? I would hate to be like that!

OK...let's move on to the cow. Oh the sacred cow! Shit! But I luuuuurve me a nice, juicy, tender steak. I used to hate steak with a passion, and now I wonder what the frick I was thinking.

My favourite steak is a sirloin or tenderloin...and these cuts also fall in to the leaner groups, so I am pretty lucky here. But, of course, these are the most expensive.

Thank God for sales.

I try and buy chicken breast, pork tenderloin and beef tenderloin or sirloin when stores drop their prices and purchase in bulk...but where the frick do I put it all? I have a family that consists of a rather large and hungry husband and three boys who are following in their dad's footsteps, and we only have one fridge with the little freezer it comes with.

Yes...I think it is time to invest in a second fridge and/or a deep freezer. More money. More space needed.

Frick...I can't even find a place to put a basket of clean laundry without tripping over where the hell am I gonna put another major appliance? The garage?

And speaking of the is the only place I have the fits my big, very expensive treadmill. Along with all the sports equipment, bikes, scooters, outdoor crap and boxes of shit I don't have room for inside my house.


So back to my diet.

I have recently discovered quinoa.

I know I am a little late in discovering this trendy grain, but it is awesome! A whole grain, that is gluten free and full of protein!

Who knew?!?

Lots of people apparently, but I finally got my shit together and took a trip to Costco and bought both a big bag of organic quinoa and a pre-made salad that has quinoa mixed with healthy stuff such as parsley, tomatoes, cucumber and a few other healthy goodies. Love it!

Now, I mentioned "gluten-free". This is the latest "thing" in the diet world and it seems there is a lot of merit to the whole thing. I know that some people have to revert to a gluten-free diet for medical reasons, however scads of others are doing so for its health and wellness benefits - one of them being weight-loss and/or maintenance. My parents being two of them.

My Dad, in fact, it turning into a walking, talking "Wheat Belly" encyclopedia!

My husband and I have toyed with the idea of purchasing this book - probably the best-known "gluten-free" book on the market...but we wanted to check it out of the library first, and the waiting list was as long as the desert is hot, so we are currently just listening to my father wax poetic about the horrors of wheat until we get off our butts and get our own copy. (Or perhaps, since I think my dad has pretty much memorized the whole thing, we will just steal his when he is busy eating his gluten-free whatever-it-is!)

I am an emotional eater. And a carb-o-holic. Chocolate is my biggest vice. I can't just have a little piece. It is my drug of choice. I have to stay away. I am not good at moderation in this area.

I also have a friend who lost a significant about of weight and gained muscle by subscribing to putting his body into a state of ketosis.

This meant cutting all carbs (especially at the beginning...and this included fruit), and eating lots of lean protein and veggies. Now, this is a single guy with no kids. He didn't have to consider cooking for a family of hungry men.

He could go to the gym on a whim (another poem!). And I must say, it really worked for him. He looks and feels fantastic.

I tried this method for a bit, but found it very restrictive (well...that it because it is!) and difficult given my situation as a busy mother and la la la.

It worked at first - I lost a pretty quick 20 pounds...but I just found it too difficult to keep up. But I must say, I learned a lot from my friend and he gave be tips and advise  - even some that went beyond diet and exersise - that will stay with me forever. He even gave me the wise advise "when in doubt, lean out".

Wise guy for a dude of 40.

Then there are the pills and potions.

Look inside the pages of any women's magazine and you will see them. I had never tried any of these weight-loss helpers, but I am currently trying PGX. I will let you know how it works once I have been taking them for a while longer.

Of course, who can forget all of the weight-loss programs out there. From Weight Watchers to Jenny Craig to Medifast to this, that and the other...which one is best?

Well...I know from some friends that Weight Watchers can work and is a great support system as well if you do it right.

Lookin' good girl!

I, myself, tried Jenny Craig for a little while just before I had my third son to get rid of that extra 30 pounds that had made their way back to my ass and thighs after I had lost the baby weight from my second over the course of several years.

It cost a bundle, but it did work. I was getting close to my goal weight when I got knocked up again...which resulted in a very difficult pregnancy at the age of 38.

I broke my feet and then all hell broke loose.

I lay in bed for three months and developed a very bad Tim Horton's Iced Cap addiction. We are talking 2 large ones daily. I mean, I was already fat...I was lying in bed, I could not walk and it was the hot summer. I figured I deserved it. I did not think of how my ass and the rest of my body did not.


I told myself I was having a 50 pound baby and all would be well and good once I gave birth.

My little Drew, however, was born 3 weeks early at 8 lbs, 3 oz and along with him and the water I got rid of, I lost about 20 pounds. Breast feeding let to a few more pounds lost.

And yes...little Drew got sucked into be-leafing early.
Poor kid

Stress caused me to continue to eat in a less than healthful way.

Post-pardum depression did not help matters. I was stuck with 3 little boys and 70 extra pounds on my body that was trying to get around on 2 less than perfect feet after a c-section.

I didn't even want to be seen. 


So it is two-and-a-half years later and I am still working on finding the right thing for me. But really, I know I need to do what I have done in the past. And I wrote about it  in my post The No-Diet Diet. is simple. Eat fresh, whole foods and practice portion control. And move your body daily. And be consistent.

And just do it.

That's it.

And so...I have a realistic goal set for myself. I am aiming to lose 2 pounds per week until I reach my ideal weight. No more crazy diets. No more crash this or that.

Eat healthy. Eat less. Move more.

But wait a sec. What about cleansing?

Ah! A friend at the office gave me info about The Master Cleanse...and while at first it way seem extreme and crazy, after I did some research, it made sense.

I have recently finished a 10-day cleanse, which I will blog about soon. After 10 days, I had lost 13 lbs and cleared my body of a lot of toxic crap. I plan on doing it again. More to come...stay tuned!

And the rest...well...let's give it a rest.

Off for a brisk walk!



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