"Writing about a writer's block is better than not writing at all."
- Charles Bukowski, The Last Night of the Earth Poems
Oh how I hate this little annoying thing called "Writer's Block".
I have been struggling on and off with this for a while. I want to write - I feel the need to write - but I don't know what to say.
Or rather - I don't know what to say publicly.
Not that I have anything to hide.
It's just that since March of this year - that's almost 5 months for those counting - I have been so wrapped up in my own crap - dealing with depression, anxiety and a really bad broken leg - that these things are really the only things I have had to write about of late.
I want to talk about things like raising a teenaged son, or dealing with children who learn in different ways, or navigating life after divorce - dating, integrating new relationships with kids, the challenges of co-parenting, yadda, yadda, yadda.
But most of these topics seem like a breach of trust to a certain degree.
My life is pretty much an open book - because that is who I am. I like to share my own personal experiences and stories. I do write on different topics, but I am very much an anecdotal writer.
But some people are much more private and I need to respect that. My son(s), my significant other, my ex…these are people who are considerably more guarded about their privacy and I get that. This is not their blog - it is mine.
It is not my place to spout details about their lives - even though their lives are so intertwined with mine.
There are many stories to be told…many lessons to be learned…many topics to discuss - but I have to be careful about the other people in my life.
And hence, so far this post is about how I can't write a post.
|This is obviously me and my typewriter wearing a smashing shade of red lipstick with a bad case of the block.|
That's great Lora.
And so in these times, I just start to write and see what comes out.
As a blogger, I have a different style of writing than, say, when I have been hired by someone else (like a magazine or website). I have a very conversational blogging style. I write the way I speak. I use slang. I sometimes use less than savoury language (sorry mom).
I edit very little.
I edit paid articles and essays and work reports like a crazy mo-fo, but not my blog.
It just feels more sincere and authentic.
It is currently 5:26am on a Monday morning.
Granted, I don't have to work today (because I am still recovering), but when I feel the need to write it kinda takes over and something pulls me out of bed - enticing me to start typing.
A more concise word for this phenomenon would be 'insomnia'.
Why toss and turn when I could be creating? Telling a story? Sharing?
Well I will tell you why. Because I'm tired for the love of the baby Jesus - but I can't sleep!
And again a recap of this blog:
A bunch of words that are saying basically nothing.
I am so fucking profound sometimes.
I obviously need a brainstorming session but for that…one requires a functioning brain and mine is working at a sub-par level at the moment.
Not that I don't do some decent writing work in the wee hours of the morning.
This is just not one of those times.
|Perhaps if I put my glasses on I will suddenly feel smarter.|
This is exciting content people!
OK. I will end the misery of it all.
This is possibly my worst blog post of all time.
Please forgive me or sue me. (The first one is much cheaper and easier for everyone. Trust.)