"Fate whispers to the warrior,
'You can not withstand the storm.'
The warrior whispers back,
'I am the storm.'"
So…yeah. It has been a very, long while.
The past few years have been kinda rough and the ol' bloggy blog got thrown onto the back burner (and then somehow fell behind the stove apparently).
Last I updated you, it was last year and I was living at my folks' place for a bit as I really struggled with my depression and anxiety. Per my doctor, I had stopped working and stopped caring for my kids. I needed to focus on myself.
I really don't want to hash out every detail of the past few years, but here is the Cole's Notes version:
Early 2016 - left work due to depression and anxiety. Mid-2016 - was starting to feel much better when I badly broke my leg skydiving. And by skydiving I mean playing badminton. Was in bed for an entire summer. Late-2016 - back to work. Early-2017 - Was struggling hard to keep it all together - working and taking care of my boys - but it got so bad I needed to leave work again.
Then over the next year I would be hospitalized on four, separate occasions - all for depression and anxiety. In between I was in intense group and individual therapy and my medication was being closely monitored by a psychiatrist. I had electro-convulsive therapy (ECT). I even broke my fucking foot for the love of the baby Jesus! Just for added spice of life! Ugh.
I fought hard and I have had my first, really good couple of weeks of late and I even felt like starting to write again. Hence my widely anticipated and now celebrated (I assume, naturally) return to the blogasphere.
Well…a quick update about me (besides my struggles above). My boys are now 16 (Julian), 14 (Noah) and 7 (Drew). I am now officially divorced and I continue to co-parent our boys with their father. Julian now has his driver's licence and my anxiety about this has softened now that I see what a good driver he is. It is nice to have a man servant to run my errands and drive me places, I have to admit.
I am still in a relationship with my boyfriend Dave - so it has now been over 4 years. He has been incredibly supportive through all of this shit and I love him more each day. I can't imagine life without him.
I have really gotten into drawing and have started creating what I call "draw-rings" as they are famous and/or inspirational quotes or related words within the shape of a ring. I originally started calling them draw-rings as I was impersonating Mike Myers' SNL character 'Simon' who is English. Anyways…so I filled, like, 7 sketch books with these things and even sold 20 of them in a scrapbook to one of my doctors for a clean $650. I'll show you some more examples in a later post.
But I digress.
I never wanted this blog to become "the depression blog" - because I am so much more than my illness and that really was never the intent or the focus of The Hugging Home. I have and will continue to share bits of my journey as I feel that sharing is important when you are comfortable enough and have a forum to do so. I have both - so I will keep you updated.
Until next time - which I hope will be very soon - I will be back - really back - hoping to make you smile and laugh at the trials, tribulations and triumphs I experience that I know so many of you can relate to.
I'm happy to be back. Throwing you a giant hug!